Wednesday, October 13, 2010

To Be Honest...

I'm dead tired.
Physically, emotionally. Just tired.
Today was one of those days where I just wanted to up and quit. To throw in the towel and just say, "Forget it, I'm going home."
This month of looking for work has been exhausting, humbling, and today I wondered if it was worth it.

Finally, after a bit of tears and an angry and frustrated heart, I listened to Jesus as he told me to leave the apartment. Walks do usually make me feel better, why not?
It helped. I ran into a couple people that were happy to see me, and that part of me that strives to be known was relieved.
I thank the Lord for his hand in knowing me so well that I was able to be in a room visiting a friend, only to surprise another who was about to call to pray for me over the phone.
His words of grace and Truth were a balm to my heart when it was hard to say them or believe them.

Yes, I'm still tired, and I still want to quit this job search.
But I pray that tomorrow will be better and that my heart will retain the Truth that
He is the Provider.

If you're reading this, if you could join me in prayer, I would greatly appreciate it.
Prayer requests:
-Joy and peace as I lean on Jesus to provide financially.
-Being honest in sharing with friends that this season is hard.
-Rest. I had a couple bad dreams last night, so a restful night of sleep would be helpful as I continue on the job hunt.
-That Jesus would provide a job.

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