Monday, November 30, 2009

Random Things

['cause I feel like writing]

  1. I go through cycles of music, usually one artist (it's currently Jon Foreman) at a time until I move on.
  2. My favorite foods are tacos, sandwiches, and pozole.
  3. I really like school supplies: pencils, pens, stationary.
  4. I read. A lot.
  5. I'm usually thirsty.
  6. I don't like checking my voicemail. Don't leave me one.
  7. Friends make any situation better.
  8. I want to be an artist, but am too much of a coward to actually try.
  9. I consider myself a writer, but need to do more of it.
  10. Dance- i love it.
  11. I know most of the lines to Friends.
  12. I listen and watch more Oldies pop culture than I do current.
  13. I have a love-hate relationship with Oprah. It's one-sided too.
  14. I want a donkey as a pet, although I don't know where I'd keep it.
  15. I want to run away to Mexico and just live there for a while (this may be tied into the donkey dream).
  16. After careful introspection, I am fully confused as to what I want to do with my life.
  17. I love Jesus.
  18. I am learning what it means to be healed emotionally and spiritually.
  19. I consider my friends the family I never had, and UCLA the best time of my life.
  20. I don't like celery.
  21. I don't like raisins.
  22. Ironically, I like celery with peanut butter and raisins. Who would have known?
  23. The hardest thing for me to endure is family/friends moving away.
  24. The only places I've been to outside California are Tijuana, Mexico and Washington DC.
  25. I'm on facebook way more than I should, but isn't everybody?

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

My Gratitude Snorkel

A Gratitude Snorkel is a way that my friend Alia had me remember things I am thankful for.
It's just a list of things you're grateful for on the day you do it.

Here's mine for today:
  1. A bed where I can sleep for the night, and wake up not wanting to get out of it.
  2. My roommate Eloise for making me laugh.
  3. Notes from friends affirming me on random days.
  4. Chances to hang out with friends for no particular reason.
  5. Carl's Jr. french fries-they make me happy. :)
  6. People with contagious smiles
  7. Excited people flyering on BruinWalk (passion is passion)
  8. Thoughts of Thanksgiving and the surprises it'll bring
  9. Christmas music all around
  10. The Ackerman bookstore, being able to sit in a corner and just read
  11. Ice cream in my freezer [vanilla bean and mint & chip]
  12. Dancing the night away with friends
  13. Books that you can read time and time again
  14. Jon Foreman/Switchfoot music
  15. Texts from friends on Thanksgiving
  16. New beginnings (in all forms)
  17. Sunrise, that reminds me that each new day is a beginning
  18. catching up with friends while running errands
  19. sending mail to people far away and getting a response
  20. laughing 'cause i remembered something random
  21. finding the perfect Christmas present for my sister :)
  22. advent, that gets me that much more ready for Christmas
  23. going to the party supply district and eating a quesadilla
  24. plans for winter break
  25. RLCCs who are just as quirky as I am

Friday, November 20, 2009

Adam Had to be Bored

This morning, as I stood watching the sunrise in the stairway of Hedrick 6 North, my mind wandered back to Genesis, to Adam. I've found that my mind will do that, drift in wondering what it was like when God and Adam were on earth in Eden.

I stood waiting for the sun to make it's grand appearance. As I waited, I began to notice a lot of things, like how the sky transitions from a deep blue to a burnt orange, and that fades as the sun begins its journey in the morning sky. I found myself seeing things I had never noticed, marveling at the sun and the sky, as well as the birds that fly through the air and sing a song to accompany morning.

As I observed these things, I found myself wishing that someone were standing next to me. It being 6 am, I refrained from waking anyone up.

However, the wish for company made me think, "Adam had to be bored." Now don't get me wrong, God's creation is amazing, and in Eden I'm sure that Adam had the best view of everything and anything; but as I was standing in the stairway, waiting for the sun, time slowed down considerably. Conversation would have sped it up, and we would have probably talked about the things we had never noticed about morning before.

What I am getting at is that I think that Eve played a crucial role in Adam not only seeing the glory of God's creation, but being able to share it with someone who would marvel at it with him. Adam longed to have someone share the wonder of Eden, someone to whom he could express the awe that was (and is) the sun, trees, animals. I wonder if Adam needed a partner in order to fully enjoy God's creation.

And I wonder if this is the reason God declared that it was "not good" for Adam to be alone; I wonder if Eve was a way for Adam to engage with God not merely as a friend, but as the Creator. To engage with God and His wonders. There was a part of Adam that needed Eve, not only to have a relationship with her, but to deepen his relationship with God and His creation.

So many thoughts (and questions)... more on this in a later entry.

i knew...

it was the perfect time to tell you.

you were there, i was there.
we were sharing deeper than we have the past few weeks.

i knew God was prompting me: slightly nervous, speeding heart rate...
i should have told you.

i chickened out.

i'm afraid of your reaction. what you'll say. what you'll do.

more than that, i think i'm scared that it might cause a dent in my already fragile heart.

i need to tell you.
very soon.

Southbound Train

It's almost 3 am, with thoughts swirling through my mind: thoughts of home, the future, literary musings, and music. A lot of music.

I find myself thinking a lot at this hour. Times when it seems like everyone's sleeping and I can finally extract the important parts of my day.

I find myself thinking of home a lot, the ways my view of it has changed; the ways in which I'm finding that home is more of a location, more than a place.

I stumbled upon a song I heard Jon Foreman perform in the apartment community of UCLA, it seemed fitting to share at this hour.

I'm headed home
Yeah, but I'm not so sure
That home is a place
That will ever be the same

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Remembering Caleb "Bubba" Manning

I just wanted to say thanks. Thanks for always hugging me during our first passing period of the day. You don't know how much that meant to me. It was a time when I felt invisible, and for that brief time that we talked as we stalled walking to our class, you made me feel visible.
I remember sophomore year, sitting in Ancient Civilization and venting at how pointless we thought the coursework was, you making faces from across the room and making me laugh. You always made me laugh.
I didn't quite know it at the time, but a lot of my high school memories have you in them, memories that remind me that someone did care about me in high school. Somehow you knew that I needed a tall friend who would hug me and make me laugh. I only wish I could have told you that sooner.
I miss you, buddy. A lot. I miss having to look up in order to see you face to face, your hugs that always came at the right time, your sense of humor, and your genuine concern for the friends in your life.
I know that you're in Heaven, but that doesn't undermine the fact that I wish I could see you, talk to you and return the favor of making you laugh as much as you did me. I pray that you're having a ball; swimming, playing water polo and doing everything that you loved when you were here. The grief eases up a bit when I think I'll get to share Paradise with you one day.