Monday, June 21, 2010

Fresno, CA.

I am sitting on the floor of the Pink House.
A place I love deeply and utterly because of what happened both when and since I was here two summers ago.
I feel the excitement of a summer filled with endless possibilities for God.

The responsibility is deeper.
I am called to lead, serve and encourage the group of about 30 students that will arrive on Wednesday.
And I know God will rock me.

He'll rock me in a way I'm sure; because I have asked, tried and pleaded that He would.
And now, I'm here.
In an opportunity that I didn't know would be offered to me. And I am so grateful.

Grateful to feel alive as I passed Motel Drive, to know that God wants to fulfill His will here in this city.
His city.

Jesus, may you be glorified in the ways in which this humble group of students and staff seek to love your people for your glory. May we speak, serve and love in your name.

And to you be all the glory.

If you'd like to support me on this journey, please send letters (and checks, if you desire) to:
Sol Eufracio
c/o FUI
310 N. Roosevelt Ave
Fresno, CA 93701

Saturday, June 12, 2010

My heart

is quite insecure.

As the year is winding down and I am entering this new phase of life, of growing up and finding a genuine community outside of BCF-

I need to be reassured that friendships are staying friendships.

And that You (and you) aren't going anywhere.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Oh, beautiful day.

Today is one of the most amazing, blessed days I've had in a really long time.

I woke up  at 5:30 am to get ready and come back to UCLA.
I was driven back to UCLA by Mom and Sister while listening to the World Cup.
Mexico and South Africa tied that game.
I caught up with a long time friend while making breakfast.
Ate said breakfast with two new friends.
Sat around as people came in and out of her apartment.
Helped edit a personal statement.
Saw my friend HELEN SONG after a year!
And am now sitting having a (continuous) relaxing day.

Things later today:
watching the best friends I've made while in college walk to complete their college degree, and even though I won't be walking, it's going to be GREAT.
Having dinner with friends who have completed their degrees to celebrate.
Sleeping over and having late night conversations, I'm sure.

So far, a good day. And it'll probably get better. :)

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Change, it's in your pocket.

As I walked to my last final of this year, I tapped my back pocket to make sure I had the necessary BruinCard and room key. I also found a silver Half Dollar.
My initial reaction was of surprise, "When did I get a half dollar and put it in my pocket?"
(insert the BCF Visioning Team quoting the phrase, "Change- it's in your pocket.")
The second was a smile, how random but very nice to have it there. I dropped it back in.

I could go on about the significance of my childhood said half dollar represents, but instead I've been thinking (and thinking) about the change that has already come. I've had a good run, you know.
I've laughed, cried harder than I ever thought I'd cry in front of people, and shared secrets as well as song with friends that will probably be friends for the rest of my life.

Now I listen to the sounds of boxes being thrown around in a feeble attempt to pack efficiently, laundry carts on their way up to rooms and back to the turnaround to load things into cars and ultimately have it driven away to its home.

Yes, change is here. And there isn't really anything I can do to stop it.
So here I go.

Monday, June 7, 2010


Singing is my vulnerable spot. Probably because I enjoy it (a lot) yet don't feel like my voice holds a candle to the rest of the voices surrounding me.
So when my friend, E said it was finally time to perform this song ("Let That Be Enough" by Switchfoot) outside of his room, for more than five of our closest friends, I said yes. However, I didn't think that Senior Catalyst (InterVarsity's large group gathering put on by the Senior class every year) would be the biggest risk I ever did take in BCF.

That Thursday night was me putting myself out there (I felt the most vulnerable I've ever felt); knowing I wasn't the best singer in our class, that my voice would not be flawless, but deciding to sing anyway.

Singing because I have a story to tell.

A story of redemption- singing with the man that has challenged my mind and caused me to check the motives of my heart. Not to mention that he aggressively encouraged me (for about a year) to do this song. I could not have done it without him. I have learned to much of God's love through him, and learning what it means to live in the constant want of letting God's love be enough for me.
A story of grief- the first time I heard this song was five days after my stepfather passed away, liking this song, and having the melody and the line, "I'm a plane in the sunset with nowhere to land," stuck in my head for a long time after initially hearing it.
A story of healing-a year after, seeing the ways God has been doing a healing work in me. Shattering guilt, shame and reminding me that I am His. That his love is constant, no matter what I fail to do and no matter how I mess up.
My story- it has become a story of dependence on Jesus. Learning more and more what it means to follow him in the moments when I don't know what comes next, the moments when I'm tired, the moments when I think he doesn't know what he's doing.

My life and my story has become this song, and may that be enough.


Saturday, June 5, 2010

let's be real.

this sucks.
the reality of leaving my fellowship, BCF, is hitting hard now.
BCF has been what i've known, what i've lived for and where i have received life the past 3 years.

this is scary.
actually, this is pretty terrifying.
(you know my panic face? i'm wearing it right now.)

additionally, i don't like goodbyes. and although i'll be here for the next while i won't be directly investing in the lives of friends that are near.
there aren't words now.
just this feeling of dread.

the image in my head is running across the plateau of a cliff,
running toward the impending edge to ultimately jump off it.
i've been running for 3 years, and now i know the edge is getting closer and closer.

running is easy.
jumping off the cliff is hard,