A song by Brooke Fraser.
In the autumn on the ground,
between the traffic and the ordinary sounds
I am thinking signs and seasons while a north wind blows through
I watch as lovers pass me by
Walking stories - whos and hows and whys
Musing lazily on love
Pondering you
I'll give it time, give it space and be still for a spell
When it's time to walk that way we wanna walk it well
I'll be waiting for you baby
I'll be holding back the darkest night
Love is waiting til we're ready, til it's right
Love is waiting
It's my caution not the cold
there's no other hand that i would rather hold
the climate changes, I'm singing for the strangers about you
don't keep time, slow the pace
Honey hold on if you can
the bets are getting surer now that you're my man
I'll be waiting for you baby
I'll be holding back the darkest night
Love is waiting til we're ready, til it's right
Love is waiting
I could write a million songs about the way you say my name
I could live a lifetime with you and then do it all again
and like I can't force the sun to rise or hasten summer's start,
neither should I rush my way into your heart
I'll be waiting for you baby
I'll be holding back the darkest night
Love is waiting til we're ready, til it's right
Love is waiting
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Love is waiting.
"I'm excited to date!" This is literally what I told my friend, E.
I think back on that moment and I'm slightly embarrassed. Yet the growing smile on my face is because I actually am really excited.
Something's coming. I can feel it.
I mean, a lot of things are. I'm transitioning out of college, learning what it means to be a good mentor and friend, struggling through insecurity and constant need for attention...
but this lingering feeling that I finally hit the cusp of something amazing...
that's there too.
You see, I've never been excited to date. To get to know another person to learn more about each other, about God and see if we're supposed to be in each other's lives forever as man and wife.
I am ready to trust, learn, serve and listen to what God has in this area. To do the same for a man that wants to do the same for me.
Through my friendships I've learned that the men and women in my life point and show me what God sees in me, the beauty within the mess, the leader when i feel small, the breathtaking view among the broken.
And I can't wait to reflect back to my friend and significant other just how much they are loved by the Father.
That's why I'm excited. 'Cause if the guys in my life right now are any indication of what's waiting, then there's some amazing potential out there.
I think back on that moment and I'm slightly embarrassed. Yet the growing smile on my face is because I actually am really excited.
Something's coming. I can feel it.
I mean, a lot of things are. I'm transitioning out of college, learning what it means to be a good mentor and friend, struggling through insecurity and constant need for attention...
but this lingering feeling that I finally hit the cusp of something amazing...
that's there too.
You see, I've never been excited to date. To get to know another person to learn more about each other, about God and see if we're supposed to be in each other's lives forever as man and wife.
I am ready to trust, learn, serve and listen to what God has in this area. To do the same for a man that wants to do the same for me.
Through my friendships I've learned that the men and women in my life point and show me what God sees in me, the beauty within the mess, the leader when i feel small, the breathtaking view among the broken.
And I can't wait to reflect back to my friend and significant other just how much they are loved by the Father.
That's why I'm excited. 'Cause if the guys in my life right now are any indication of what's waiting, then there's some amazing potential out there.
i get it.
i was created for justice.
i've read isaiah 61 before, known that the Lord anointed me to...you know.
it kind of hit me earlier though, i was reading Kent Annan's Following Jesus Through the Eye of the Needle, and it just hit me.
I was made to bring justice.
i know the thoughts and images floating through your head are probably of rallies and protests, those aren't the sole ways of justice that i'm thinking about. i'm thinking of justice in the everyday. in the ordinary.
as i was reading Kent Annan's reflections on going to Haiti and later deciding whether he should stay or not, my heart was tugged. i want to see the world changed, for justice to be restored.
that's why i always root for the underdog.
why it breaks my heart to see malnourished children.
why things like violence make me angry.
i was created to bring justice.
not solely to see and feel my heart break at how far we've come since Eden, but to have a hand in restoring the relationships with creation and with each other.
that's why the gospel is messy, it takes my reality of living in a broken world and casts the light of what once was. the world in which i was created to be.
i've read isaiah 61 before, known that the Lord anointed me to...you know.
it kind of hit me earlier though, i was reading Kent Annan's Following Jesus Through the Eye of the Needle, and it just hit me.
I was made to bring justice.
i know the thoughts and images floating through your head are probably of rallies and protests, those aren't the sole ways of justice that i'm thinking about. i'm thinking of justice in the everyday. in the ordinary.
as i was reading Kent Annan's reflections on going to Haiti and later deciding whether he should stay or not, my heart was tugged. i want to see the world changed, for justice to be restored.
that's why i always root for the underdog.
why it breaks my heart to see malnourished children.
why things like violence make me angry.
i was created to bring justice.
not solely to see and feel my heart break at how far we've come since Eden, but to have a hand in restoring the relationships with creation and with each other.
that's why the gospel is messy, it takes my reality of living in a broken world and casts the light of what once was. the world in which i was created to be.
I'm an "Other," apparently.
Census 2010.
"It's in our hands."
The Census upsets me. Clarification: it pissed me off.
I'm fine with being counted. I understand that the United States is trying to count the population of the country.
Check.
i just get pretty angry when i read questions 4 and 5.
I especially love the "Note" prefacing both questions.
Note: Please answer BOTH Question 4 about Hispanic origin and Question 5 about race.
For this census, Hispanic origins are not races.
Umm...okay.
Question 4 was easy, I am a Mexican woman.
Check.
Question 5... not so easy.
What is your race?
I couldn't find one box i could identify with.
What the hell am i supposed to check?!
I frustratingly checked, Other.
But what am i supposed to write in the "Other" slot where i'm asked to fill it in?!
Dilemma?
I think so.
I didn't think the Census would cause me to question my identity, or to think so fiercely as to why Hispanic origins should be included as a race.
But it did.
It pushed those buttons, and made me a little sick. We're trying to be so politically correct that we alienate each other, we hurt each other and don't consider what our neighbor might be feeling (or perhaps, having difficulty answering these questions).
Jesus, help us.
"It's in our hands."
The Census upsets me. Clarification: it pissed me off.
I'm fine with being counted. I understand that the United States is trying to count the population of the country.
Check.
i just get pretty angry when i read questions 4 and 5.
I especially love the "Note" prefacing both questions.
Note: Please answer BOTH Question 4 about Hispanic origin and Question 5 about race.
For this census, Hispanic origins are not races.
Umm...okay.
Question 4 was easy, I am a Mexican woman.
Check.
Question 5... not so easy.
What is your race?
I couldn't find one box i could identify with.
What the hell am i supposed to check?!
I frustratingly checked, Other.
But what am i supposed to write in the "Other" slot where i'm asked to fill it in?!
Dilemma?
I think so.
I didn't think the Census would cause me to question my identity, or to think so fiercely as to why Hispanic origins should be included as a race.
But it did.
It pushed those buttons, and made me a little sick. We're trying to be so politically correct that we alienate each other, we hurt each other and don't consider what our neighbor might be feeling (or perhaps, having difficulty answering these questions).
Jesus, help us.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
you know that feeling?
that feeling where you finally get to tell that person everything you've been wanting to say?
that was saturday. Brother's Appreciation Night.
i knew that it'd be difficult to share the ways these men i call brothers mean to me, everything they've done for me and the rest of the women in our fellowship.
and by God's grace, it all came out.
i was able to share my story of redemption, love and the acceptance of my own beauty through these men.
God's grace has been able to rain down on me through the beautiful, amazing, crazy brothers i have in Christ.
and although we still struggle with not knowing what to say, having boundaries, and continuing to learn what it means to be vulnerable in order to have authentic relationships, i wouldn't trade this journey with them for another.
not solely because they make me laugh, hold my hand while i cry, or bring me medicine when i'm sick.
but because they are Jesus in so many shapes, sizes, colors, personalities, senses of humor and heights. they are the ones that reflect back to me so many things that i am always insecure of.
reminding me that i am fully loved, whether or not i make a joke that is worth laughing at, singing badly, or messed something up royally.
they love me just the same.
and because of that reflection of jesus' love...
i love my brothers.
that was saturday. Brother's Appreciation Night.
i knew that it'd be difficult to share the ways these men i call brothers mean to me, everything they've done for me and the rest of the women in our fellowship.
and by God's grace, it all came out.
i was able to share my story of redemption, love and the acceptance of my own beauty through these men.
God's grace has been able to rain down on me through the beautiful, amazing, crazy brothers i have in Christ.
and although we still struggle with not knowing what to say, having boundaries, and continuing to learn what it means to be vulnerable in order to have authentic relationships, i wouldn't trade this journey with them for another.
not solely because they make me laugh, hold my hand while i cry, or bring me medicine when i'm sick.
but because they are Jesus in so many shapes, sizes, colors, personalities, senses of humor and heights. they are the ones that reflect back to me so many things that i am always insecure of.
reminding me that i am fully loved, whether or not i make a joke that is worth laughing at, singing badly, or messed something up royally.
they love me just the same.
and because of that reflection of jesus' love...
i love my brothers.
Monday, April 5, 2010
St. Louis!
i finally have something written in regards to my week in St. Louis.
Love really does change everything:
check it out here.
Love really does change everything:
check it out here.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Today i spent the day celebrating my mom's birthday (happy 51st, mom!). We spent the day at El Mercadito and La Placita Olvera. Both of these shopping centers are primarily mexican vendors. I had the greatest day.
Just being with family has been great, but being able to be myself as a mexican woman has been even better. Today i reveled in being able to eat pozole, watching children dance traditional mexican dances, and be among those that love mexican art, clothing and food. I thought, as i was trying whether or not to buy a traditional dress, how much of a change has happened in the last two years. My second year, i would have never considered that dress... and now i'm looking for any way to express where i come from. God is good (all the time), and the fact that he redeems my identity as a mexican woman from being one i was ashamed of to one that i love and can't help but share with friends.
Just being with family has been great, but being able to be myself as a mexican woman has been even better. Today i reveled in being able to eat pozole, watching children dance traditional mexican dances, and be among those that love mexican art, clothing and food. I thought, as i was trying whether or not to buy a traditional dress, how much of a change has happened in the last two years. My second year, i would have never considered that dress... and now i'm looking for any way to express where i come from. God is good (all the time), and the fact that he redeems my identity as a mexican woman from being one i was ashamed of to one that i love and can't help but share with friends.
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