remember.

i shared with S.Hop about the staff decision. i fought the tears that fell anyway, regardless of my desire to hold it together. it was nice to share with him about what i was told and be able to let it out. again.

as i walked back with some of my favorite people, i said my goodbyes and walked back to my room.
a small voice seemed to whisper,
remember.


remember the ways God has been good to you.
remember that community is a gift that is given to you.
remember the promise of never leaving you or forsaking you.
remember the promise of my plans for you:
 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
remember the vision of green grass, you and i walking hand in hand.


remember.

Jesus, i know that you are good. In times of trouble I have looked to you as a comfort and as a shield. I pray that i continue to trust you and see you next to me throughout the journey.

Remembering Caleb "Bubba" Manning

Bubba-
I just wanted to say thanks. Thanks for always hugging me during our first passing period of the day. You don't know how much that meant to me. It was a time when I felt invisible, and for that brief time that we talked as we stalled walking to our class, you made me feel visible.
I remember sophomore year, sitting in Ancient Civilization and venting at how pointless we thought the coursework was, you making faces from across the room and making me laugh. You always made me laugh.
I didn't quite know it at the time, but a lot of my high school memories have you in them, memories that remind me that someone did care about me in high school. Somehow you knew that I needed a tall friend who would hug me and make me laugh. I only wish I could have told you that sooner.
I miss you, buddy. A lot. I miss having to look up in order to see you face to face, your hugs that always came at the right time, your sense of humor, and your genuine concern for the friends in your life.
I know that you're in Heaven, but that doesn't undermine the fact that I wish I could see you, talk to you and return the favor of making you laugh as much as you did me. I pray that you're having a ball; swimming, playing water polo and doing everything that you loved when you were here. The grief eases up a bit when I think I'll get to share Paradise with you one day.

-Sol