Adam Had to be Bored

This morning, as I stood watching the sunrise in the stairway of Hedrick 6 North, my mind wandered back to Genesis, to Adam. I've found that my mind will do that, drift in wondering what it was like when God and Adam were on earth in Eden.

I stood waiting for the sun to make it's grand appearance. As I waited, I began to notice a lot of things, like how the sky transitions from a deep blue to a burnt orange, and that fades as the sun begins its journey in the morning sky. I found myself seeing things I had never noticed, marveling at the sun and the sky, as well as the birds that fly through the air and sing a song to accompany morning.

As I observed these things, I found myself wishing that someone were standing next to me. It being 6 am, I refrained from waking anyone up.

However, the wish for company made me think, "Adam had to be bored." Now don't get me wrong, God's creation is amazing, and in Eden I'm sure that Adam had the best view of everything and anything; but as I was standing in the stairway, waiting for the sun, time slowed down considerably. Conversation would have sped it up, and we would have probably talked about the things we had never noticed about morning before.

What I am getting at is that I think that Eve played a crucial role in Adam not only seeing the glory of God's creation, but being able to share it with someone who would marvel at it with him. Adam longed to have someone share the wonder of Eden, someone to whom he could express the awe that was (and is) the sun, trees, animals. I wonder if Adam needed a partner in order to fully enjoy God's creation.

And I wonder if this is the reason God declared that it was "not good" for Adam to be alone; I wonder if Eve was a way for Adam to engage with God not merely as a friend, but as the Creator. To engage with God and His wonders. There was a part of Adam that needed Eve, not only to have a relationship with her, but to deepen his relationship with God and His creation.

So many thoughts (and questions)... more on this in a later entry.

No apologies.

A part of me greatly wishes that I had an open heart, an open heart that were open to everything and everyone that came my way, a heart that was willing to love unconditionally.
There are people I wish I had let walk into my heart instead of shutting the door and causing to turn away. However, I know that my heart has become guarded for a reason, not everyone has loved me as they should, have inflicted more pain than good and have left me regretting the fact that they were in my life. Although I regret that you caused me pain, I am glad that you taught me what you did and that I am both stronger and wiser for it.
Often I wish that God would take away that pain and that you would be erased, for my life was greatly molded by you, my view of your gender and my opinion of most of the human race. Although that is my wish, I am also glad that I do not get to dictate my life, I am glad that the pain remains and that I get to remember both the good and the bad as well as cherish the love that has been given to me so freely by those that He has given me to both love and laugh beside me.
I don't apologize for the anger that sometimes still rages within, the frustration in wanting you near... I don't apologize because I know that restoration is not of me, but of the One that loved me. I don't apologize because it is because of you that I got to know that love, the love that continues to free me and save me as I continue to walk along this path that seems to bring me only pain and forgive you all the same.
I pray that one day you get to share in my forgiveness and compassion for you, and that you're able to forgive yourself. Although you caused pain, God meant to use it for good (Genesis 50:20); and for that I can love that much more deeply, and I sincerely hope that you're able to share in that with me. Someday.