The more I look forward to the places I'm going, the more I miss the places I've been.
In looking towards interning with InterVarsity, I thought back on Fresno. I thought back to what it was like to live in community and to solely live to learn more about Jesus and love my neighbors. I miss that.
Knowing what each day was meant for, to share the love of Jesus with those children, with their parents. To live with 32 other students learning how to do the same, and all being understanding in the days that were difficult and sharing with each other the days that were joyful. So much joy.
I remembered my second year here at UCLA. I was so driven in seeing God's heart and love on campus; often making difficult decisions to see that.
Here, I get caught up in what needs to get done; often forgetting why I am doing things...who these events, visits and acts of service are for. Or who I claim to follow as I do it.
What if my testimony were as pure as when I was in mission in my everyday life?
I guess this is where I have to admit I'm not the perfect disciple. I do not understand all of what Jesus is doing in my life or the life of my friends. I'd like to say my lack of understanding affects my laziness in reaching out or my forgetful nature as I am driven to get the next thing done.
I strive to live my life in mission, not solely the days or weeks that I am sent out to a location and isolate that from the rest of my life.
May the Lord and community help me.
"You miss someone you've never met."